Military Life
Life in the military is no walk in the park. I don’t talk about it often mostly because I feel blessed for the chance I had to serve and don’t practice dwelling on difficult things in my life. After serving eight years and completing two deployments—one to Iraq and one to Afghanistan—I faced my fair share of stress, anxiety, and the relentless pressure of being constantly on alert. These experiences left a mark on me, both mentally and physically. But through it all, I discovered a simple yet powerful tool that helped me maintain my sanity: the 3×3 method.
Today, as a mental health therapist, I share this method with my clients, many of whom have histories of trauma. This technique isn’t just for veterans; it can benefit anyone, including children, who need a way to ground themselves and find peace midst chaos.
What is the 3×3 Method?
The 3×3 method is a grounding technique that helps bring your focus back to the present moment. It’s rooted in mindfulness and cognitive-behavioral therapy practices, but don’t let that intimidate you. The beauty of this method lies in its simplicity. You don’t need any special tools or a specific setting to practice it—just your surroundings and a willingness to pause and breathe.
How to Practice the 3×3 Method
Here’s my step-by-step guide to practicing the 3×3 method:
1. Identify Three Items
First, look around you, absolutely wherever you are, and pick three items you can see. These could be anything—a chair, a picture on the wall, a cup on your desk.
2. Acknowledge Each Item
As you identify each item, say out loud, “I see a [item].” Or “That is a [item].”
For example, “I see a chair.”
3. Say It While You Breathe Out
Take a deep breath in and slowly exhale as you acknowledge each item. This combination of focused attention and controlled breathing helps calm your mind and body.
Special Forces Assignment and How the 3×3 Helped
Let me give you an example from my time in Afghanistan. During one particularly stressful night, I found myself overwhelmed by the mission at hand, worrying too much about whether or not the task could even be done…
To regain control, I practiced the 3×3 method. I looked around our dusty tent and identified a phone, a notebook, and my boots. I said to myself, “I see a phone,” took a deep breath in, and slowly exhaled. I repeated this with the notebook and boots. Within minutes, I felt more grounded and in control, and instantly fell asleep.
The Psychological Benefits of the 3×3 Method
Grounding in the Present
One of the most significant benefits of the 3×3 method is its ability to ground you in the present moment. When you’re focused on what’s happening in the here and now, it’s harder for your mind to spiral into anxiety or be consumed by past traumas. There is less opportunity for the “what ifs” and fears to creep in.
Mindfulness
The 3×3 method encourages mindfulness. We’ve discussed mindfulness and how important it is here. Mindfulness is being fully present and engaged with whatever you’re doing at the moment. Mindfulness has been shown to reduce stress, improve emotional regulation, and enhance overall well-being.
Calmness and Peace
By combining focused attention with deep breathing, the 3×3 method promotes a sense of calm and mental clarity. It’s a quick and effective way to reduce the physiological symptoms of anxiety, such as a racing heartbeat and shallow breathing.
Real-Life Application During Deployment
During my deployment to Iraq, there was a day when everything seemed to go wrong. We were on a convoy, and our vehicle broke down in a particularly hostile area.
Anxiety levels were through the roof.
While waiting for backup, I used the 3×3 method to keep my composure.
I spotted three items: a fellow soldier’s helmet, a rock on the ground, and the sky above. I acknowledged each one, took deep breaths, and felt my anxiety subside enough to stay focused and alert.
Ease of Use
One of the best things about the 3×3 method is its ease of use. Now, I use it consistently to deal with stressors at home. Family is wonderful, but can also stress you out! You don’t need a quiet room, meditation music, or a yoga mat. You can do it anywhere, whether you’re in the middle of a battlefield or sitting in your kitchen after school is out.
Effectiveness
The 3×3 method isn’t just a quick fix; it has long-term benefits too. By regularly practicing this technique, I found that my overall stress levels decreased, and I became better at managing anxiety and staying focused in high-pressure situations.
I was recently in a group setting with many other veterans. When we were talking about coping mechanisms, I pitched this idea of using the 3×3 method. They had never heard of it so I quickly gave a demonstration of how it works.
It worked like a charm. My fellow veterans sitting around me were amazed at how quickly they’re anxiety was dispelled when I asked them to reflect on a traumatic moment in their past.
Transition to Civilian Life and Therapy Practice
Adapting the 3×3 Method
When I transitioned to civilian life, I brought the 3×3 method with me. It helped me navigate the stress of returning to a “normal” life and dealing with the residual effects of my deployments. Now, as a mental health therapist, I teach this method to my clients.
Teaching Clients
I work with a wide variety of people, specifically many who have experienced trauma. The 3×3 method is a staple in my toolkit because it’s easy to learn and effective. I’ve seen it help veterans, survivors of abuse, and even children who struggle with anxiety.
Client Success Stories
One of my clients, a young woman with PTSD from a car accident, found the 3×3 method incredibly helpful. She used it whenever she felt a panic attack coming on and reported that it significantly reduced the frequency and intensity of her attacks. Another client, a child with severe anxiety, found comfort in the method’s simplicity and now uses it daily at school to stay calm and focused.
Tips for Maximizing the Benefits of the 3×3 Method
Consistency, Personalization, and Integration
Like any skill, the more you practice the 3×3 method, the more effective it becomes. I encourage my clients to use it regularly, even when they’re not feeling particularly stressed, to make it a habit.
While the basic structure of the 3×3 method is straightforward, it can be personalized. Some people find it helpful to focus on different senses—identifying three things they can hear or touch instead of just seeing. This works perfectly for my daughter who struggles with anxiety.
The 3×3 method can be even more powerful when combined with other relaxation or mindfulness techniques. For example, you might follow it up with a few minutes of meditation, NSDR, or a brief walk outside.
I tell every person who asks me how grateful I am that I served in the military. I know without a doubt that my service and expectations in the Air Force shaped me into the man I am today. But, it was highly stressful and could have been a burden to my mental health if I hadn’t found coping techniques.
The 3×3 method is a simple, yet powerful tool that helped me stay sane during my deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan. It grounded me in the present moment, promoted mindfulness, and brought a sense of calm amidst chaos.
Today, as a mental health therapist, I see its benefits every day in my clients’ lives. Whether you’re a veteran, someone with a history of trauma, or simply someone looking for a way to manage daily stress, I encourage you to try the 3×3 method. It might just be the key to finding peace and calm in your life too.
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